Miserly
Old
Meanie
She’s a style-blocker, the goalie standing between you and the gold in the back-to-school style Olympics.
Why, if she had her way, you’d be in a freakin’ potato sack – floor length, of course, because anything shorter would be "indecent." Right? Think again, says Dr. SuEllen Hamkins, author of The Mother Daughter Project. Get this: she says mothers actually want you to be beautiful and happy.
"She’d love to have a million dollars to buy you whatever you want--but she’s stuck with a budget that includes groceries and gas as well as your wardrobe and school stuff," says Hamkins.
So why do mother-daughter shopping expeditions often end in waterworks? Not to mention headaches from excessive eye rolling… First of all, you need to put yourself in your mother’s ugly loafers (calm down, we’re talking figuratively here). "She wants you to be beautiful AND powerful as a young woman," says Hamkins. "So she wants you to be taken seriously and won’t want you to come across in a super-sexual way at school."
Also – forgive your ma for not exhibiting the traits of a savvy stylist. Psst: you’ve got to be the driver when it comes to trends. Just understand that there is probably a speed limit, and definitely fines for flashing your high beams.
According to Hamkins, here is a crash course on shopping with mom:
Set Your Priorities.
"Start with a review of your closet, or the floor of your room," says Hamkins. Take a good, hard look at what you’ve already got, including shoes, boots, coats, underwear and bras. Then decide what you want and what you need.
Earn points by being realistic. "Moms love it when their daughters show responsibility--which means knowing that there is a budget and they can’t get everything on the wish list," says Hamkins.
Get a Budget From Mom
Set the number before you leave the house, so you don’t have to haggle over everything. "That way you can get the cute shoes that are pricey because you bought your jeans at a consignment shop for hardly anything," says Hamkins.
Re-use whenever possible
"Isn’t that the same black sweater you wore last year? O-M-G! Everybody look at the mega loser in the 2007 sweater!!" Don’t expect to hear that line anywhere but your imagination. Other people are generally too preoccupied with their own bodies to notice what’s on yours. So if you can scrape by with old faithful, then do so.
Negotiate respectfully
The following actions will secure an instant one-way trip home:
- foot stomping
- whining
- shrieking
- using the expressions "mean," "suck" or worse
- strangling or any variation thereof
"Take a deep breath and make your case in a respectable way," says Hamkins. "Explain why it’s important to you to get the pants/boots that she hates, then pause and listen to why she doesn’t want you to." Suppress the hissy fit. Instead, repeat what your mother has just said to let her know you were listening. In a calm voice, make your case again. If she still doesn’t listen, you have two choices.
Number one: let it go.
“You may want to save your indulgences for a later curfew or an extra piercing,” says Hamkins.
Number two: get a job or use your allowance to buy it yourself.
Have fun! And say thank you. Unless, of course, none of these tactics work and your mom actually is a pus-gushing, warty monster with no taste. In which case, try belting the potato sack.
