On the list of all-time greatest nightmare topics:
1) Unintentional public nudity
2) Chased through the woods by faceless murderer
3) First day in a new high school
I lived one of these stomach-churning scenarios (let my police record show that it was not one or two). Yup, I was the high school newbie.
The cliques were as established as the Sicilian Mafia, the prime locker real estate was already claimed, and everybody knew which girls would stab you with their fake nails should you make eye contact with their boyfriends.
All of the typical paranoid thoughts streamed through my head:
What would I wear?
Who should my friends be?
Would the boy of my dreams come to my rescue should I execute the “accidental book drop” in the hallway?
It turns out my hot accessory ended up being a cast. Four days before the big event, I bit the pavement on my bike, breaking a collarbone and a wrist. On my forehead: an eye-catching scrape in the autumn hues of burgundy and plum.
The scientific term to describe my attitude: BUMMED. Summoning my powers of invisibility, I hung my head low. “Whoa, what happened? Did you wipe out?” a voice pierced my sulk. Shock of shocks - a hip grade 11 guy with a look of genuine concern on his face! And by the end of the day, I came home with not just a collection of signatures on my plaster armour, but a posse of potential friends to boot.
Now, if that’s too intense for you, don’t despair. There are plenty of ways to break into a new scene without breaking a limb. The first step is to be a social sleuth, says Dr. Judy Wiener, professor at the University of Toronto who studies peer relationships in teens. “Observe the surroundings very carefully,” she says. “Look around to see where your type might be hanging out.” For instance, while sporty types may park themselves near the gym, smokers tend to congregate outside the doors.
Take some style cues from your peers. If school uniforms are in effect, note whether others are wearing them tight or loose and follow suit, says Wiener.
Making the leap from rural Alberta to Vancouver? That bull’s head belt buckle may set you apart from your new herd more than you banked on. “Don’t do all of your clothes shopping before school starts,” says Wiener. “If you’ve blown all your budget on the wrong stuff, that might be a concern.”
Plus, why not do double-duty and invite a new friend show you the ropes at the mall?
Here are some more general tips from Wiener:
- Smile
- Sit beside people who look friendly
- Greet people as you pass them in the hall, even if you’ve only met them once
- Be helpful, i.e. if you see someone on crutches, offer to carry their books
- Join clubs and teams that interest you
- Exchange contact info with someone who is a good student, in case you miss a class or need help with homework
- During conversation, take an interest in someone else’s life, don’t just talk about yourself.
Finally, bear in mind some words of wisdom that my own mother dearest repeatedly drilled into my head: “to have a friend, first be one.”
Best of luck, new kid. Break a leg!
Er, don’t take that literally.
